Sunday, September 06, 2009

Advertising and your privacy here on the site

Privacy Policy

Your privacy is entirely safe with us. We collect no information ourselves; we set no cookies; we do not interact with your computer in any way other than to provide these page files on this web server for your browser to call up and read. We simply don't have any information about any of our readers that we could do anything with, even if we were so inclined, which we aren't.

We do have a site tracker/counter that registers things like how many pages are read and what sort of browsers read them. This information is collected but not identified according to any individual reader. It helps us understand how to code the pages so that you can read them more easily and tells us which subject areas draw the most interest. So the information we get that way is about how the site is used, not about the user. Aside from what you're interested in knowing, we don't really want to know anything about you.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Post-op: Getting back into shape

One of the things women in the later stages of postop recovery often ask on our message list is when and how they can resume or begin an exercise program to really get back into shape. That's a very good question because we definitely lose conditioning when we're inactive during early recovery and yet we need to return to physical activity in a manner that does not damage our healing.

Sadly, many surgeons, unless they have a personal interest in fitness, are not the best individuals to advise us. They will tell us to gradually increase our activity and avoid putting too much stress on our abdominals, but beyond that, unless they practice a sport themselves, they may not know what does or does not particularly require midbody strength.

Friday, May 01, 2009

For the guys and the women who live with them: hysterectomies, sexuality and old wives' tales

A hysterectomy is a daunting prospect for many men, and there are several concerns that men whose partners are facing a hyst typically have.

For some men, it's the helplessness in the face of a partner having such a severe health problem that she requires major surgery.  In American and much of other Western society, men are taught to be problem solvers, such that problems they cannot provide a solution to, situations where their encouragement and support are all they can bring to us, are very highly frustrating, and that frustration may be expressed as either unfocused anger or withdrawal of contact.

As women, we need to be aware that this response is normal and does not necessarily mean rejection of us as a partner. It means that where we can redirect the men in our lives as to how, specifically, they can help us with preparation and recovery, we may find they are more gracefully able to deal with their worries than if we silently wait for them to make a gesture of that help. And for men, it means that they need to reach for comfort with the idea that this isn't a problem they can solve, but a situation in which their support can ease that problem and truly provide what their women are needing.

 For other men, there is a concern over what a marriage may most mean to them: a ready, continuous supply of sex. Whether the relationship is a partnership or a religious one founded on the man owning the rights to the woman's body, many men are ill-equipped to deal with the notion that their spouses will be unavailable sexually to them for a period that the spouse, not they, will determine. For those whose religion only permits of procreative sex, there's that whole issue of what becomes of it when procreation is surgically eliminated. And when they tap into that delightful pool of Old Wives Tales that surround hysts and menopause, they can easily convince themselves that a hyst means the end of their (marital) sex life.

So there are some valid concerns here. Let's look at what is really involved.